Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we
always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.” More often than
not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us
- when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us.
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping
on a glass of Asti Spumanti. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm
and confident.” But if you could read thru her transparent mind, you would see a
bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she‟s thinking
“are people talking about why I am seated here alone?... Why don‟t guys find me
attractive? …I don‟t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as
intelligent as my best friend.”
We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he
ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big
eyes… I wonder why my friends won‟t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would
still work things out.”
Isn‟t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously
perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and
thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are
insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose
hope in self-improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.
Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger
nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, she is
the only one who seems to be interested in the things she has to say. So all of
our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever she‟s around, and she
doesn‟t notices how badly she became socially handicapped – gradually affecting
the people in her environment.
One key to self-improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find
someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics
you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I
always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”,
¡°Do I ever bore you when were together?¡±. In this way, the other person will
obviously know that you are interested in the process of self-improvement. Lend
her your ears for comments and criticisms and don.t give her answers like ¡°Don.t
exaggerate! That.s just the way I am!¡± Open up your mind and heart as well. And
in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also
help her improve her self.
One of Whitney Houston.s songs says ¡°Learning to love yourself is the greatest
love of all.¡± True enough! In order to love others, you must love yourself too.
Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.
Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them
see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self-improvement. Selfimprovement
makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the
rest of the world will follow.
Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought
of ¡°If only I was richer¡¦ if only I was thinner¡± and so on. Accepting your true self
is the first step to self-improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to
others only to find out at the end that we.ve got 10 more reasons to envy them.
We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better
things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for
people to be happy about themselves.
Self-improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole
world that you are perfect and you are the best. It.s the virtue of acceptance and
contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel
contented and happy.